A week in the shoes of Everton owner Farhad Moshiri



Apparently Carvalho is 44, retired and now a manager who has not played regularly in seven years. Bill Kenwright is beside himself, but I calm him down with a vocal track from Any Dream Will Do by Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. These theater impresarios are easy to please. Still, I probably should have guided Carvalho’s move past one of my six directors of football. It doesn’t matter, Big Dunc will sort him out. That brings me to an idea. What is Big Dunc up to?

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It’s a no from Big Dunc. At least I think that was Big Dunc, his voice sounded a little strange, higher than usual, and he looked a little unsteady. Against the advice of the police, head to Goodison for our FA Cup Fourth Round tie. Internet threats won’t stop me from watching the team I love. The roads are quiet as we get closer, a change from people banging on my car. Go to the gate, but it’s locked, I’m told we’re out in the third round.

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Turns out the Big Dunc thing was a Tik Tok joke, it was actually three little guys piled on top of each other in a trench coat. I thought it was weird when they made me do a hot sauce challenge. Send stop and hiss messages to the responsible channel, Tik Tok and the owner, Xi Jingpin. What is Big Sam up to?

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