Why does everyone now look like a villain? The Beardie Fest in Corrie didn’t help – Peter, Daniel, Gary all looking like yetis (although they appear to have removed the hair from the bottom half of Gary’s head to give him a beard).
In EastEnders, Gray looks like a mob of ferrets (is that the collective term? No idea, that sounds good) opened an Airbnb in his face, and the handsome young villains started to sprout. Phil, who was the hairy monster, begins to look like a soft-boiled egg in the middle of a shy coconut. Is he the first clean-shaven villain in Walford?
The beards seem to indicate a residence of the dark side in soapland. Corrie’s Roy, for example, has never grown as much as a mustache (except in the case of grief), for he is a perfectly good and honest man. I also do not remember the face of Ken having started the forest planting (do not hesitate to correct me if I am wrong).
Did Covid just prevent our favorite characters from visiting the hairdresser? Corrie’s David has plenty of appointments available!
CORONATION STREET: ROOM PLANNERS
Nina (pictured) and Seb are the last incumbents of Coronation Street hospital, after being attacked by a gang
And here they are again! Even more hospital beds instantly available to anyone admitted from across the street to Weatherfield General. Who exactly are they bribing to get this kind of access? Or, as I’ve suspected for some time, has the props department bought a lot of hospital bed jobs, and do the writers have to fit them into their scripts, no matter what?
The last hospital holders are Seb and Nina (move out, Peter, you are so much the ambulance news from yesterday), who were attacked by a gang, although in Nina’s case you have to ask… How could they say it?
I love Nina. Mollie Gallagher is such a good actress who has brought so much to the show, but sometimes you have to wonder if her continued involvement is to keep the well-employed makeup department on lockdown.
As if they didn’t have enough to make Peter’s face turn yellow every day – the best makeup ever done in soapland, by the way; almost enough to make you want to stop drinking.
Anyway, nothing’s going to ruin Abi and Kev’s big wedding day, right? Yes indeed.
EASTENDERS: PLAY EM, BANJO
Bailey, along with his sidekick Banjo, has to be the best dressed person, not to mention the warmest person sleeping across the street (pictured) at EastEnders
Bailey, along with his sidekick Banjo, has to be the best dressed person, not to mention the warmest person sleeping on the street (pictured). In fact, it must be roasted, now the weather is heating up.
Still, you can’t help but feel for the poor dog, who has a look of, ‘Please someone put me in a dog food commercial so I can escape this hell. ‘, about him. He probably knows that no dog in Walford meets a good ending. In fact, forget the end; they are lucky if they are fed once every three years.
Now, I open the bet on who will be the subject of Whitney’s next doomed relationship. I guess she’ll fall into Gray’s arms (euphemism for “in the dishwasher”) or … well, take your pick; if they are looking to bring punters back to The Vic, this could be a whole new game show.
Speaking of The Vic, there’s an absolute bomb smacker ahead, and it’s not one that involves the unconvincing bond of brotherhood between Nancy and Frankie.
Hopefully Kat who defends Phil in Vi announces the resumption of their relationship. The Kat / Phil relationship is one that could – and should – work and work; they are the new natural owners of The Vic, and their love party has ended too quickly.
But has anyone noticed Phil’s habit of licking his lips? I swear it’s a novelty. Check it out. It’s at the end of almost every sentence. You see? He also wants Kat to come back. The petition begins here.
EMMERDALE: AVERAGE GIRLS
Meanwhile, Liam has given David a secret mission to implement his proposal to Leyla, and the couple are now celebrating their engagement in Emmerdale.
OK, who’s following this? So, Liam gave David a secret mission to implement his proposal to Leyla. Meena has no idea of the plan and is jealous because she thinks Leyla is trying to rob David. I’m exhausted.
Either way, all’s well that ends well (but it won’t, as it’s Emmerdale, after all), and Liam and Leyla celebrate their engagement (pictured). Life now seems less rosy for David and Meena, however (don’t say I didn’t warn you: so mean).
Moreover, Bear is furious to see Faith flirting with Pollard. She is the latest in a long line. Good luck. Everyone who did it is dead.