The strange effect of carbonic acid on politics

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Federal Coffee

“Blöterle” with the Council of States

When it comes to beverages, there is a two-class society in the federal councils. This reveals the strange effect of carbonic acid on the quality of politics.

The Council of States is the most desirable political office in the country. You represent an entire canton with a single Gspänli, but you have no executive responsibility. You’re invited to aperitifs, board meetings and policy advisory boards – and royally rewarded in every way. On the street, however, one remains unrecognized because, as a rule, loud national councilors are summoned to the arena to annoy people.

It is a quiet, sometimes even contemplative life as a member of the Council of States, just as the debates within the Council itself are calm and contemplative. All you have to do is tilt your head a little and give your esteemed colleague a friendly but firm nod – the request to speak sounds smart no matter what you’re saying. It’s a man’s life, there are fewer women.

But the best thing about being a Council of States is the supply to Parliament itself: unlike the 200 lay representatives of the people, who only have two water fountains without embellishments, the 46 gentlemen (and ladies) of the estate benefit from two latest generation water dispensers, to choose from, let freshly carbonated and chilled water bubble. Genuine Blöterli water!

This technical innovation seems to have impressed high-ranking representatives to the point that they now prefer to chat rather than deliver.

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